It's Lymphoma Large Cell Type.

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Re: It's Lymphoma Large Cell Type.

Postby pumpkinpunk » Fri Jun 04, 2010 1:02 pm

My heart is with you and Ella right now, I can't even imagine how you are feeling. She was a lucky dog to have had you! I'm so sorry for you and your families loss. :hug:

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Re: It's Lymphoma Large Cell Type.

Postby buster!brown » Fri Jun 04, 2010 1:24 pm

My heart is with you, Rebecca. May she rest in peace...and have all the orbees she could ever want (although I know Momma always gave her everything she wanted).

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Re: It's Lymphoma Large Cell Type.

Postby Alyssa » Fri Jun 04, 2010 7:00 pm

chewbecca wrote:oh god.

This hurts soooo bad.
Am I ever NOT going to hurt?

Am I ever not going to wake up at 3 am and sob uncontrollably for an hour?

I feel like someone ran me over with a mack truck 8237849 times, and is sucking my soul out of me.

My throat hurts from crying so much.
I cannot sleep more than a few minutes at a time because some memory of Ella will have me in tears.

This is so hard, guys.
It's sooo hard.

You know, I tell myself over and over and over again that we made the best decision for her. We did.
But then the question goes through my mind of, "Was it the right time? Did she already suffer too much? Was it too soon???"
Because it was horribly too soon for me.
I was not ready to let her go.

And I want her back.

So, when does knowing we did the right thing by her catch up with and trump my personal pain of missing her?

Awww hon.

When I finally realized I'd wanted too long for my old man it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do.

I *still* miss him. I rescued him when I was seventeen and he was about 5 years old. had him for almost 18 years.

He was the dog that was my soulmate. I know it sounds corny, but it's true. We are NEVER truly ready EVER to let them go. How could we? I know at some point - I started wailing that I killed my dog, that I did it or my convenience but ... the truth ws it was his time, and maybe a little past it, he held on for me, but he was hurting.

I STILL ask myself it - but deep deep down, I know the answer.


The pain will ease - but I think sometimes that it will never leave. Been 5 years for me I think now ... and I am fully balwing my ass off writing this to you .. I am so so sorry hon. You were a good momma to her, the BEST one you could be. Take solace in that when you can.

My heart aches for you, and my prayers go to you - your family and to your sweet Ella.

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Re: It's Lymphoma Large Cell Type.

Postby Mya&theSiebenDackels » Sun Jun 06, 2010 5:26 pm

I have not been on the internet in a few days and I am just now reading this. I am so sorry to hear about Ella. She was such a beautiful girl and was so spoiled. She was very lucky to have you and your family. :hug:

Rest in peace beautiful Ella. :sad:

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Re: It's Lymphoma Large Cell Type.

Postby Taffys_Angel » Mon Jun 07, 2010 5:48 pm

I'm so, so sorry Rebecca. :teardrops:

I never met Ella in the real, but it still hurts so much to hear she's gone...

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Re: It's Lymphoma Large Cell Type.

Postby bahamutt99 » Mon Jun 07, 2010 9:36 pm

I just saw this and I am so very sorry for your loss. I hope you're taking comfort in your new pupper. If I could have, I would have sent you Terra for a few days. RIP, bestest one Ella.

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Re: It's Lymphoma Large Cell Type.

Postby tia_leigha » Wed Jun 30, 2010 11:56 pm

I have been MIA myself for a while and am very sad to return to this news. I started by seeing pictures of precious Luke and thought.. waiiit a minute... Ella wouldn't have that!
And now.. I know =[
Rebecca I sincerely apologize for your loss and really enjoyed seeing pictures of ella. =] Shes hilarious and so love-able and I dont know how you are making it through your days. I would need a padded cell if I lost Wub =[
Our thoughts are with you and yours over here and Ella will NEVER! be forgotten. You can assure yourself she's left pawprints on people miles away. =]

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