thanks, everybody. i'm just so ... i don't even know. confused. angry. worried. then thinking that maybe i don't need to worry until i know that i have something to worry about. tucker is so, so, so important to me. of my three dogs, all of whom i love, tucker is the only one that i actually picked and made a conscious decision that i wanted to adopt. not that this devalues the other boys in any way, but i can remember when i went into the shelter to eval a completely different dog and the lady at BARCS implored me to please look at this litter of puppies they were going to be putting to sleep and they were all so sweet and PLEASE come meet them in case you can find someone to help. and i agreed, and went into that kennel, and immediately was swarmed with black and white puppies (and one brown and white one) and i talked to the other rescue folks who agreed to split up the litter with me and my only request was that i get to take the large boy with the mantle markings.
our original intention was to find him a home, as with all fosters, and we placed him in one that lasted ... for 2 days! when i picked him up, i decided it was stupid to let him go again because i adored him, he was a very bad puppy (bratty, bratty, bratty, which i loved) and reba, for whatever reason, adored him. and reba hated most dogs she met.
he must be OK. must be. has to be. and i've got to try hard not to freak out prematurely.